How to Gift Coaching

When is it a good idea to give coaching as a gift?   Here are three important guidelines to make sure your recipient gets the most from your investment:

Almost everyone knows someone who could use a coach, but the key question when considering coaching as a gift, is will it be used?

Coaching can be the most positive and powerful gift you can give someone, because it can truly change a life.  But it only works if the person receiving the coaching fully engages in the process.  So, how can you be sure that your gift will be used well and truly provide a positive experience and great results?

Here are a few tips to help you decide whether coaching is the right gift for the person you have in mind, and if so what type of package would be the best fit for your budget and their situation:

1.  Does the person you have in mind need to change, or want to change?

If they need to change, coaching may not help

This is an important distinction.  Someone who complains a lot and maybe even asks for advice, but then doesn’t do anything with the help and  advice they receive, could be stuck in a victim pattern where they simply don’t believe they have the power to change their life.   You may really, really, really want them to see that they can make a change, but until they make the shift in their own mind and decide to take ownership of their situation, hiring them a coach will be just as useless as any other type of help.

Don’t despair though.  One thing you can do in this case is continue to plant seeds by letting them know what has helped you without pushing it on them.   If they complain about their situation, you can say something along the lines of, “I get how frustrating that can be and I used to feel that way too.  Hiring a coach / reading this book / doing such and such program really helped me get my power back and take control of my life.  I’d be happy to give you the information if it’s something you want to try”.   Leave it at that and then set your own boundaries in your relationship with this person so the negative outlook doesn’t drag you down.

If they want to change, coaching may be the ideal gift

You will know that someone wants to change when you see them working at it.  They may be trying a variety of things and failing miserably – but you see them taking enough ownership to keep getting back on their feet and trying something else. Also, when they talk about their situation, the language is less complaining and blaming and more introspective, asking themselves questions related to what they might try next, and you’ll notice a willingness to do the work, even if they are frustrated.

You can always slip in a question, “if you were able to have a coach or participate in a professional development program, do you think you would get a lot out of it?”  and gauge their reaction.  If they seem curious, intrigued, and positive, you have probably landed on the perfect gift!

2.  Usually it takes three to six months to see the first transformational shifts.

You can purchase one or two coaching sessions as a gift, and what someone will most often get out of it is clarity.  Clarity can be powerful because  it can help you make a big decision, it can give you a new personal awareness, or it can help you get more clear on what you don’t want.   But for long term change that lasts, the coaching process usually follows a pattern that enables someone to not only get momentary clarity on the frustration of the day, but also to learn what is behind the pattern of frustrations that keep coming back.   The process is different for everyone, but a typical pattern is:

• month one –  excitement
• month two – frustration
• month three – glimpses of real change
• months four and five – practice and application
• month six – the first big shift
• months seven and eight - more practice and solidifying the first shift
• month nine – seeing the “next” level

With that in mind, when it comes to time-frame, the best gifts are:

(1) a clarity gift (one or two sessions)

(2) a taste of coaching (three to four months to make sure they’ve gotten past the first hurdle – then they can decide whether or not to continue on their own)

(3) a whole package or program (6-12 months – gets them through their first major shift and settled into it so they don’t lose it and go back to the old ways)

Whatever you do, keep in mind that getting someone two months of coaching is never a good idea because it only gets them to the point of frustration and they’ll leave feeling like they didn’t get anything out of it.

Deciding on a time frame is easy with Aspyrre because with the Aspyrre Community program you can do a longer term package even on a budget.

3.  Feeling comfortable and safe with your coach is critical to success.

Sometimes one conversation can give someone the comfort level they need to talk freely with a new coach.  At other times they need more time to build trust before getting to that comfort level.  And, in some cases the relationship never gels.  If I think my coach is a “sham” or has no genuine understanding of who I am as a person, I will never trust him or her enough to share the things I really feel vulnerable about.  And those are usually the exact things that once shared, enable big changes that haven’t been possible before.

When gifting coaching usually it’s best to provide a “taste” of the coach first to see if the relationship develops and then decide how to proceed.  There are several ways to do this.  One is to gift a few sessions up front and then find out if the person wants to interview other coaches or stay with the one they have.  Another way is to have the person enroll in a longer term group program or class that doesn’t require as much personal trust up front, but enables them to get enough of a feel of who the coach is to decide whether it’s a good fit for private coaching.  With Aspyrre you have the option to do both.

Aspyrre 2012 Gift Packages

A Taste of the Aspyrre Community 2012 Coaching Program – Three months –  $135

This gift gives three months of the Aspyrre Community with the coaching program included.  This is great because it has them engage for three months – past the typical first hurdles, and long enough to earn their first private coaching session.  If they are doing the work and enjoying the  program, they have the option to start their own subscription when the gift package ends, which gives them a sense of full ownership.  Even if they don’t choose to continue after the first three months, they will have gotten enough in terms of training, information, tools, and personal insights to make 2012 their best year to date!     MORE INFO – CLICK HERE

A Taste of Private Coaching – One month – $650

This package provides two private coaching sessions, along with two optional bonus components:  (1) an additional assessment or exercise that is specifically relevant to their situation (such as a business assessment, a self-discovery tool, a personal marketing plan, or a personal development program), and (2) an additional private coaching session to review the results of their work.  This provides them with three coaching conversations (a $1050 value) and a solid plan to help them move to a new level in 2012.  They will also have enough of an experience of working with me to see if working together long term would be a good fit and help them put their plans into action!   MORE INFO – CLICK HERE

Aspyrre Community 2012 Coaching Program – Full year plus Bonus Coaching – $1490

This package provides one full year of the Aspyrre Community Coaching program – from January through December 2012, plus 5 private coaching sessions to be used anytime during the year.  As a member of the Aspyrre Community coaching program – each participant has the opportunity to earn up to 4 private sessions per year, so this package gives them the opportunity to have nine private sessions total along with a full year of classes that they can participate in live or listen to as recordings, depending on their schedule.   Please note, the private sessions can ONLY be taken in conjunction with full engagement and participation in the Aspyrre Community and packages must be purchased before January 15^th 2012.   MORE INFO CLICK HERE

Leadership Development – Individual Custom Package – One Year – $9500

This package is an ideal gift for someone in an organization who is poised for growth.  As an ideal year- end bonus, or in conjunction with an annual evaluation, it shows your willingness to invest in your people and provide them with the tools and resources they need to shine and reach their next level professionally.  It includes initial meetings with all involved to clarify objectives, review of evaluations and objectives, a “mini-360”, twelve full months of private coaching, and three progress “check-in” meetings with stakeholders.    It’s everything you need to insure your  employee gets full support throughout the year to rise to his or her highest level, and at the same time it allows you guide the process, provide regular feedback, and integrate what is learned into your team environment.  This package can be purchased at any time during the year, and also can be modified to include additional assessments, workshops, or team programs as needed.   MORE INFO CLICK HERE

How to Add Value as a New Manager without Alienating the Natives

Getting a new job is exciting – but now the pressure’s on to prove yourself…

The first several months of a new job can be incredibly stressful as you work hard to make a good impression and show your new employer that they made a good hiring decision.  But sometimes trying too hard can backfire and your efforts end up alienatating the very people you are trying to impress.  Here is a story of how one manager navigated this tricky terrain:

SITUATION

John had just been hired to head up the Operations Team at a successful, growing company.  He was eager to prove to the board that they had made a good hiring decision, and started the job with enthusiasm.  But his first few months were turning out to be much more challenging than he had anticipated.  He would use his best judgment to make a decision, only to find out he’d accidentally left someone key out of the loop.  He came up with good ideas, only to get push back from people who would patiently explain that the ideas had already been tried. He had basic questions, and was afraid to ask his busy peers for fear of appearing incompetent.  He felt like he couldn’t move projects forward, and feared that those who hired him might start having second thoughts if he didn’t get some tangible wins soon.

COACHING INSIGHTS, DECISIONS, AND ACTIONS

John had always been well-liked and respected in his prior positions, and for the first time in many years he was beginning to doubt himself.  It was a big relief for him to find out that this is a common pattern for anyone moving into a new organization.  There are cultural nuances, jargon, and interpersonal dynamics that everyone in the company takes for granted, and no one thinks to explain to newcomers.  This “way” of doing things is only noticeable when the awkwardness of an outsider’s behavior brings it to the surface.  Usually it takes four to six months for a newcomer to soak up the ins and outs of the new culture, and during that time getting the most basic parts of a new job done can be painfully slow.  Unfortunately, these same four to six months are when you are being watched and judged.  Just when you want to make your best impression, you are completely handicapped.

We discussed various ways to accelerate his assimilation process, and John liked the idea of building a relationship map.  He drew a flow chart of the organization, adding new people and connecting them to others as he met them.  We identified eight questions that would help him understand their goals, how his role connected to theirs, and how they could optimally work together: 

1.  What are your most important goals and objectives?

2.  What do you need most to acieve those goals and objectives?

3.  What do you need in particular from my department to help you achieve those goals and objectives?

4. How do you see my role connecting to yours, and how do you envision us working together?

5. How do you prefer to communicate (e-mail, voice mail, lunches, quick hallway conversations, meetings…)?

6. What are some of the biggest barriers / frustrations / challenges you face in your work?

7. Who do you trust to go to for support and advice when you need it?

8. If I do well at my job, how will that impact you?

His goal was to answer these eight questions for each person on the relationship map.

RESULTS

The relationship map project gave John something tangible to work on, and got him initiating conversations he might otherwise have avoided.  He was initially worried that the project might take away from his work, but he soon saw that the information he got from his conversations enabled him to get more done faster. 

 He found people much more receptive when he showed genuine interest in what they were trying to accomplish.  In one case he discovered that another department was working on a project that could be combined with something his team was doing, and his work with the other department head to make it happen gained him visible win # 1.  He also found that as he probed for what was currently frustrating people, he was able to come up with new ideas that people wanted to try, and this lead to more wins. 

 But most of all, he started feeling like himself again.  His network within the company solidified, and he felt confident asking “stupid” questions anytime he wasn’t sure of something.  Because the relationship map included everyone in his department, he was able to develop a deeper understanding of the strengths, weaknesses, and goals of team members and work more effectively with all of them.

KEY LEARNING

Acclimating to a new organization is usually more stressful than looking for a new job in the first place.  By working with a coach, John learned that this was a normal part of starting a new position, and he stopped questioning his competence.  This also enabled him to take a proactive approach that gave him a sense of control in a situation with a lot of unknowns.  A relationship map is a useful tool for anyone in an organization because it helps you get outside of your own head and see things from the perspectives of those who work with you.  In John’s case it helped him mitigate the natural suspicion that most people have for a newcomer in a corporate environment, accelerate his assimilation process, and build the foundation for a strong network within the organization.

Pass it on…

John’s story is quite common, so if you find yourself in a similar situation don’t despair, and see if the relationship mapping idea will work for you.   You don’t have to use the same questions or even have eight of them.  You don’t even have to schedule meetings to answer the questions; you can challenge yourself to find the answers to the questions in whatever manner most suits the environment.  The point is to create questions that will help you learn more about what things look like from the other person’s perspective. 

 If you have a friend who has just landed, is immersed in the first six months of a new job, or who is responsible for bringing in and coaching new managers – please feel free to pass this story on in case they can use it.

How to Deal with a Micro-Managing Boss

Bosses are tough to deal with in general. They represent authority, and they often bring back memories of what we hated most in our relationships with our parents and teachers growing up. The micro-managing boss is especially hard to handle if you are creative, innovative, and want to make a contribution of your own in an organization. But since quite a few people in management positions fit this profile, chances are you will end up with one at some point in your career. Here are some tips to help you get the space you need to thrive:

1. Understand that micromanaging behavior is driven by the positive characteristics of conscientiousness, diligence, and responsibility; it’s just that they have been taken to an extreme. People often confuse themselves with the quality of the work they produce. As long as they can control the quality of their work, they are ok, but as soon as they have to depend on others for results, they are faced with the fear of representing sloppy or substandard output. Since putting out less than excellent work is SO personally humiliating, they need constant reassurance that the team is performing. Keep in mind that behavior such as constant checking on your progress or reviewing your work has NOTHING to do with how well you perform. It is about your boss, who has gotten so caught up in his or her fears and needs for reassurance that he or she is not aware of how this behavior may be impacting you.

2. You can give yourself space by playing to their standards for excellence and needs for reassurance. Initiate a conversation about expectations and standards of work output, and make sure your boss is clear about where your standards are. If you have a difference of opinion, get it talked out and come to an agreement about what standards you are both comfortable with. Then COMMUNICATE. It’s natural to react to micro-management by doing everything possible to avoid communication. But that just plays into the vicious circle of mutual mistrust and escalates the problem. If you develop a habit of sending a short e-mail on a daily or weekly basis that gives your status on a project and how you are handling situations, the boss gets a stream of continuous reassurance, and wont feel a strong need to check in.

3. Once you have developed a certain degree of trust with your boss, you may want to take it to the next step, and that is providing feedback on the impact of the micromanaging behavior. For example, “I notice that you have redone my last three powerpoint presentations. I understand your desire to have us represented in a positive light, but you may not realize that you are sending a subtle message, that I can’t do powerpoint presentations, and that makes me feel less excited about doing them well in the first place. Is there something specific you are noticing about the way I do my presentations that does not meet the standards we agreed on related to our work?”

Unfortunately, the micro-managing boss ends up fulfilling his own fears. As he takes more responsibility for the work of the team, the team feels completely disempowered and loses the motivation to produce their best work. Soon they are complaining and doing very little, and he is fretting about how they don’t care and he has the weight of more than one job on his shoulders. It may take several attempts to help him turn around, because he needs to let go and allow himself to look bad in order to re-empower the team, build trust, and get to the point where he gets results that are better than he ever dreamed.

If you are a micro-manager, or you work for one, anything you can do to facilitate the change will be a positive learning experience. Giving your boss feedback that enables him to become a better leader is a gift he will be forever grateful for. And if you are that boss, imagine getting rid of the experience of being overworked and not being able to trust anyone, and moving to a place where you get to work with people who consistently go well beyond the call of duty, and you are so honored to be their leader that you would never consider taking ownership for the phenomenal work they put forth.

Join the forum discussion on this post

Losing Yourself for the Sake of Being Nice

I picked up a book at the library recently about the development of girls as they move through adolescence, and was struck by a process that was described over and over, where young girls let go of who they really are in order to say the “right things” and act the “right way” – the way that seems necessary to keep their friends and build the life they think they want. 

Most of my adult clients hire me to become more of who they really are: to discover what will make them happy, to communicate more authentically, to develop healthier relationships, and in general to begin living life on their terms.

I don’t know if it ever occurred to me to wonder when and why they stopped living life on their terms in the first place.  But reading this book made me think about it. 

Essentially, the researchers interviewed girls every year from when they were nine years old to sixteen years old.  What they found is that when the girls were nine, ten, and sometimes eleven, they handled conflict with their friends directly.  They spoke out about their disagreements, stood for what they wanted, and were comfortable having friendships with kids who had different opinions, wants, and needs.   But between the ages of eleven to thirteen things began to change, and the girls began to use their observations about relationships to gauge what they should say to “be nice”, and that began to take precedence over their real thoughts and feelings.   

During this transition, many of the girls sensed the duality of how they really felt about things compared to what they were willing to say, but they felt it would be easier to get along and keep their friends if they were careful, and only said things that wouldn’t make the other kids mad.  Angry and “selfish” feelings were buried, and replaced with lies that kept everyone “happy” and smiling on the surface.   The irony of all this is that the girls craved authentic and genuine relationships, and the motivation for their inauthentic behavior was to maintain relationships.  They created plastic relationships based only on niceness and happy feelings, and buried the darker sides of themselves, feeling isolated and misunderstood.  Meanwhile, girls inadvertently hurt each other more by talking behind backs instead of confronting each other, making up lies, avoiding, and otherwise pouring a lot of energy into trying to manipulate social situations.  The more plastic friendships they struggled to maintain, the fewer real friends they had whom they could trust and be themselves with.

Most women have continued this pattern into adulthood.  We are kind and nice and helpful and giving on the outside, and we avoid conflicts and differences of opinions.  We don’t know how to tell our friends that we’ve been hurt by their actions, so we bury the hurt and handle it quietly, then pretend nothing was ever wrong.  We agree to help each other when we really don’t want to, we pretend to be friends with people we really don’t like, we stay superficial and sweet on the surface, and feel lonely and isolated underneath, not ever sure of who we truly are or what we truly want.

This is what we teach our daughters and the cycle continues.

I would love to teach my daughter how to be completely authentic in her relationships and get real joy from her friendships.  But the best way to do this is to model it, and I realize that means I have to find the courage to express my full self in my own relationships so she can witness and model it.  It’s not easy when you have a habit of monitoring yourself to make sure nothing you say is hurtful, and negative feelings are so buried they don’t even seem to exist anymore.  But I’ve been working on becoming more and more authentic over the years – and it really does work better!

What about you?  Where have you lost your real self, for the sake of being an ideal version of what society says you should be?  What would you be willing to do to get your real self back?

For any of you who would like to read this book, it is called, “Meeting at the Crossroads – Women’s Psychology and Girls’ Development” by Lyn Mikel Brown & Carol Gilligan, and the link is to the book on Amazon.  It is a bit of an academic read in the beginning, but gets better once you get into the actual conversations with the girls.

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Do you Know what you Really Want?

In coaching, when we notice clients procrastinating on the actions required to achieve their goals, one of the most important questions we ask is this:  “Are you sure this is what you really want?”

Sometimes this question triggers a very cool breakthrough where the client realizes that what they thought they wanted wasn’t really what they wanted, and the procrastination was simply a reflection of this inner conflict.  Then they change their goal and find that they are very motivated now that the conflict is gone.

But sometimes it doesn’t work that way.  Some clients assert that they absolutely want “it” and continue to procrastinate. 

Which brings up an important follow up question.  Do you really want to do everything it will take to get “it”?

It’s not so much about whether or not someone wants the end result.  We all want to be rich, thin, beautiful, living in a gorgeous house, doing work we love or not having to work at all, enjoying a perfect relationship with someone who adores us and treats us right… and I could go on.

We all want that.  But we don’t all have that.   So wanting something bad enough can’t be the key ingredient to getting it.

I think the key ingredient is whether or not the effort is worth it to you.  The real question is, “Are you willing to do what it takes?”  “Do you want to do what it takes?” 

And be honest.  Because if you really don’t – it’s not worth all the pain of forcing yourself to do it, being conflicted, procrastinating, and never doing it well enough to get the results you want in the end anyway.

Some things to consider: 

1.  Whatever “it” is for you, do you want it bad enough to put a whole lot of personal focus and energy into it, AND let the other important things in your life take a back seat to it, perhaps for a year or more, in order to get the results you are looking for?
2. If your answer is yes, how much effort will it really take to get your results?  You may want to interview a few people who have gotten the results you are after to find out exactly how hard they worked, how much time it took, and what set-backs they faced.
3.  Would you be willing to test yourself for a month or two, to put the level of work required in, and see if you actually stick to it?  Usually, after six to eight weeks of dedicated work, you may or may not see some minor results; but you will definitely see how hard you ended up working. 

Procrastination is usually less about laziness and more about not wanting to do the task at hand.  You can often dredge up enough will power to force yourself to do the work you need to do, but that energy wears out eventually.  So it’s very helpful to get clear on what you really want:

1. If you think you want to run a marathon, get clear on whether or not you really want to devote several hours per week to running and training.
2. If you think you want to lose weight, get clear on whether you are really ready to change your eating habits long term.
3. If you think you want to make a lot of money, get clear on whether you are willing to go out there and sell yourself.

I would say that almost anything is possible for anyone, if we have the desire.  But the desire has to be for the work, not just the prize. No matter how much you desire the prize, if you can’t stand doing what it will take to move you towards that prize you wont get there.

So next time you get frustrated and feel like you are banging your head against a wall trying hard to get something that is not coming your way, take an honest look at what you want, and don’t let up on yourself until you get to your truth.

The Power of Understanding How Needs Work

Working with Nahid

I first hired Nahid 3 years ago, when I graduated with my M.B.A. from Pepperdine University. Nahid’s coaching was beneficial for me in two ways. First, she helped me to explore career options that might best utilize my M.B.A. I wanted to incorporate my background, my education, and my interests into a logical career path that I would enjoy. Until that point, I’d been in Engineering, and through this process with Nahid, it became clear to me that I wanted to transition into Project Management.

Then Nahid helped me to successfully target ideal companies and to navigate the actual job transition. I landed a great position in an excellent company, where today I’m able to leverage my Engineering background, while increasing my role in Project Management over time. I really enjoy what I do, and am working on a P.M.P. certification, as well.

Recently, I reconnected with Nahid, because I wanted to plan my next career and life steps.  I joined the Aspyrre Community program, which I can easily incorporate into my busy work schedule. 

My “Aha!” Moment

During a Needs Workshop, a major shift occurred for me, while reading through our workbook.  I suddenly became more acutely aware of my collective needs. Then, during the workshop, I had an “aha!” moment.  I recognized that I have the power to get my needs met more easily, and in ways I might have dismissed in the past. Whether it be at work, in my community, or anywhere – I can come from a more empowered place.

I realized I don’t have to be dependent on people or situations outside of myself to get my needs met. There are an abundance of opportunities in the world, without anyone or any particular person or company being in control of my life or my needs. Today I’m practicing applying this knowledge in all my daily interactions, and I’m also glad that I can go to the Community Library and listen to the tele-class recording any time I like.

I’d like to add that while the Needs Workshop isn’t something that you’d find in the mainstream of personal & professional development programs, it is absolutely life-changing!! It really needs to be introduced to more people as an awareness and personal empowerment tool.

My Results

My perspective and my relationship dynamics have changed for the better, since I have more compassion for the needs of others, as well as for my own.  Specifically, one situation that changed is this. I’d had one particular relationship at work where a communication dynamic had been uncomfortable for me.   After doing the Needs Workshop, I was able to identify this situation clearly. I requested a time to talk, and then I addressed my concern and calmly took ownership up front for my contribution, while also asking that my needs be met. To my surprise, the other person responded positively and professionally. Two months later I’m enjoying a much more functional and enjoyable relationship, and I see even more opportunities for working together in the future.

Why I Recommend Nahid and the Aspyrre Community Program

Nahid takes situations and dilemmas that might otherwise seem overwhelming, and turns them into concepts and ideas that are easy to understand and approach.  She distills the abstract into concrete steps that can be implemented quickly. In a sense, it’s like she gives you a set of tools. Plus, I trust Nahid implicitly, so I know that a method she recommends is not going backfire on me. Finally, she brings the emotional side into the business world, with her unique background and her skills. I’m a big fan of Nahid
as a top notch professional coach, and I highly recommend The Aspyrre Community.

L. Christine

When you want something TOO much

A few years ago, I was talking to a prospective new client, let’s call her Janelle. We were talking about discovering work she loved, and going through the steps of career transition. During our conversation, I heard her say, “Oh…if this doesn’t work, if I can’t find that one thing I’m passionate about – I think I’ll just die!”

That was my red flag. It told me, unfortunately, that she was TOO attached to finding her passion. SO attached that she was almost guaranteeing that it would never happen. She was sad and lost, and miserable in her work. Somehow she had decided that if she could find “her passion” then that would solve all her problems. She had decided that “finding her passion” was the magic cure, the only cure, and the only path to feeling good again. I knew right then that there was almost nothing I could do with her as a coach unless I could help her detach from “needing” this outcome so desperately – and an emotion that powerful isn’t something that detaches easily.

It’s the desperation that does it. Remember the last time you were desperate in a relationship? The other person was probably running the other way, right? The same thing happens when we are desperate for a job, desperate to lose weight, desperate to make millions, desperate for our kids to get straight A’s, desperate for anything to happen a certain way. Usually it doesn’t happen the way we hoped and dreamed it would – ever. In fact, the few times we are able, against all odds, to obtain what we so desperately want, we are in for a rude shock- the thrill lasts only a few minutes and then we are back in our slump again. We find out sadly that it didn’t change anything.

The only solution is to stop being desperate. But if you’ve ever been in this situation, you probably know, that you can tell yourself to stop being so desperate – and it doesn’t do a darn thing.

This month in the Aspyrre Community, we will be addressing this issue of getting overly attached to an outcome, and provide a step by step process you can use to help detach so you can more effectively achieve your goal. I will be running both an in person workshop and a telephone class with a workbook for those who are not in the immediate area. For more information on these classes, you can go to the events page or the home page and look at our “Upcoming Events” in the center.

This over attachment cycle is something that can truly drive one mad, and if you can relate, please join us in these enlightening and productive events that give you tangible tools – and some control back.

Daily Actions

Today I pulled out my list of daily actions. A daily actions check list is one of those super simple but very powerful tools – kind of like a to-do list. It’s not the tool itself that is so amazing – it’s how you use it. Some people are overwhelmed by their To Do lists, and those same people might get overwhelmed with a Daily Actions list, but here are some secrets to making the most of the tool:

1. Think of a set of small actions that, if done on a daily basis for a period of several months (or forever) will almost surely lead to success in achieving your goal. For example, you might have a set of 6 “rules” for eating, that if followed on a daily basis, will almost surely get you to your ideal weight.

2. The Daily Actions list builds on the power of habit building. Once a habit is established, it’s harder to NOT do it than do it. So if you build habits that naturally move you towards your BIG goals, you end up achieving more with less effort.

3. It will always take a lot of energy to do something before it becomes a habit, so while you are building a new habit, you will have a better chance of success with steps that drain your energy as little as possible. That means your daily actions should not take very long to do, and they should be pretty easy. Think in terms of “baby steps”.

4. Building on the baby steps concept, habits are built through frequency and consistency, so whenever you can break something down into smaller, more frequent steps, you will have better success. One example is with exercise. Instead of doing 1 hour three times per week, you may get farther doing (3) 10 minute routines each day.

5. It’s better to have fewer daily actions that too many. Keep in mind you can always add more later, once the habit is built. So if you pick 10 or fewer actions to do on a daily basis, and then you do them consistently for 1-2 months, pretty soon they will be so automatic that you will not have to think about them anymore. Then, if you like the daily actions tool, you can replace those actions with new actions and new habits.

My daily actions list has about 15 items on it. I have been using this list since November, and many of the actions are easy habits by now, but others I have struggled with. The ones I struggle with tend to take more time (like walking the dog for two miles – 40 minutes), or tend to occur in the afternoon or evening when I’ve crossed over into a reactive state, and am out of energy and not thinking as clearly.

But the daily actions list has become somewhat of a habit for me, and it has served me well. The good thing about good habits is that you tend to always “fall” back into them. And so, after a four day hiatus, I have pulled up my list of 15 items, and little by little am checking them off.

What daily habits could you create that would help you achieve your BIG goal?

Living Life on MY Terms

Testimonial from Kathy Shute:

Here’s the predicament I was in….

I’d been a loyal private coaching client of Nahid’s for several years, and felt I was on track with my life. Unfortunately, then crisis hit. Over the span of a year I underwent a major, emergency surgery that took me out of work. After my recovery, I obtained a new position but after working there for only six months I was laid off. To make matters worse, my husband was laid off a little before I was!

Nahid showed up in my life again with a powerful, new tool.

I was teetering on the brink of depression. These layoffs could have been a blessing with different timing.
But I didn’t have the resources or clarity to move toward any career dreams yet, nor the investment reserves to hire Nahid to help me navigate this crisis.

As fate would have it, Nahid called me to share news that she was starting The Aspyrre Community.
As I listened, I knew it was the perfect solution – exactly what I needed. Cost-effective, authentic group workshops that provided ongoing coaching while I looked for a job.

Here’s the powerful epiphany I had during one of The Aspyrre Community workshops…

During one of my first workshops, I gained clarity about my career and life goals.
What I truly wanted was to be an Artist, a Writer, and to travel the world!

Wow, what a scary thought….if only I had a million dollars or a benefactor.
Here’s where my second paradigm shift came about. Nahid informed me that all I needed was a way to create passive income, affording me more time to paint and travel.

Okay, but how…I wondered? She then told me about a book called, The 4 Hour Workweek, by best-selling author Tim Ferris. It provides a wealth of great ideas about designing your lifestyle and then living it by leveraging your time and creating passive income…just what Nahid was telling me to do!

The turning point….

Meanwhile, I had to be practical and find work. Yet, the industry I worked in was hard hit by the national recession, and offered little in the way of job prospects.  So I read The 4 Hour Workweek and then I became inspired. Partly as a result of these discussions, my husband decided to start an online business that made use of his corporate online marketing and web design skills.

After some time, with no job, but with ongoing support from the Community, I joined up with my husband, and can you believe it? I began using my writing skills in the new business! We also put my artwork online, too, and found an automated high-quality vendor to reproduce and ship it to customers around the world.

My life and career transformation:

Just a year after joining The Aspyrre Communty, I’m working full time writing, painting and traveling the world, while building equity toward my future. I can’t say enough good about Nahid and the direct, ongoing value she brings to members like me in The Aspyrre Community!

I can have Time AND Money

Testimonial from Kathy Shute

Here’s the predicament I was in….

I was working 60-70 hours per week in a management position, where I felt constantly drained. I knew I needed to change my priorities and my career, but didn’t know where to begin! I was too tired to try and figure it out myself, as I had no clarity around what I wanted to do next.

 The only thing I did know, was that I wanted to do something vaguely the opposite of what I was doing now!

Working with Nahid I had a “light bulb” moment…I was my own prisoner!

 I began working with Nahid as a way to help create this much-needed, major shift in my career and my life. One day, during a “Belief Session”, which is a powerful tool Nahid uses, I had an epiphany. I realized that I held a deep belief. It was this. That in order to have abundance, I needed to keep working tons of hours in a career that had outlived it’s purpose for me.

 I didn’t believe in my ability to have an abundance of time AND money. Much less, I also believed I couldn’t have both while doing something that would use my talents and passions!

I was a prisoner to a common, yet highly unempowering belief!

 The turning point….

 During this same session, Nahid helped me to see that I had simply adopted beliefs about time and money that I’d learned as a child. This understanding helped me to remain compassionate about myself while preparing to change my belief.

 Nahid then shared a simple tactic to help me immediately open my mind… that perhaps the opposite belief was true. I used this tactic to PROVE to myself that I could have abundance of time and money, all while doing what I love. (I wouldn’t have adopted the belief without proof.)

 I was still afraid, but thrilled to test out my new theory. What did I have to lose? Nahid’s simple tactic helped me to bravely take the next step.

My life and career transformation:

 Within six months of following Nahid’s guidance, I was able to truly adopt this new belief of time and abundance. This inner change gave me the courage I needed to leave my career and begin a new one. It hasn’t always been easy, but neither was living through the agony of being my own prisoner.

 Over the next few years I was able to identify and realize a hidden dream. Today I own a business with my husband, and I enjoy writing, painting and traveling the world, while building equity toward my future, too.

 I can’t say enough good about Nahid and the direct, ongoing value she brings to her coaching clients. I’m also a member and fan of her recently-founded Aspyrre Community. As I travel the world, I appreciate such a cost-effective community, access to its’ strong network, and the online tools that it provides for me.