How to Add Value as a New Manager without Alienating the Natives

Getting a new job is exciting – but now the pressure’s on to prove yourself…

The first several months of a new job can be incredibly stressful as you work hard to make a good impression and show your new employer that they made a good hiring decision.  But sometimes trying too hard can backfire and your efforts end up alienatating the very people you are trying to impress.  Here is a story of how one manager navigated this tricky terrain:

SITUATION

John had just been hired to head up the Operations Team at a successful, growing company.  He was eager to prove to the board that they had made a good hiring decision, and started the job with enthusiasm.  But his first few months were turning out to be much more challenging than he had anticipated.  He would use his best judgment to make a decision, only to find out he’d accidentally left someone key out of the loop.  He came up with good ideas, only to get push back from people who would patiently explain that the ideas had already been tried. He had basic questions, and was afraid to ask his busy peers for fear of appearing incompetent.  He felt like he couldn’t move projects forward, and feared that those who hired him might start having second thoughts if he didn’t get some tangible wins soon.

COACHING INSIGHTS, DECISIONS, AND ACTIONS

John had always been well-liked and respected in his prior positions, and for the first time in many years he was beginning to doubt himself.  It was a big relief for him to find out that this is a common pattern for anyone moving into a new organization.  There are cultural nuances, jargon, and interpersonal dynamics that everyone in the company takes for granted, and no one thinks to explain to newcomers.  This “way” of doing things is only noticeable when the awkwardness of an outsider’s behavior brings it to the surface.  Usually it takes four to six months for a newcomer to soak up the ins and outs of the new culture, and during that time getting the most basic parts of a new job done can be painfully slow.  Unfortunately, these same four to six months are when you are being watched and judged.  Just when you want to make your best impression, you are completely handicapped.

We discussed various ways to accelerate his assimilation process, and John liked the idea of building a relationship map.  He drew a flow chart of the organization, adding new people and connecting them to others as he met them.  We identified eight questions that would help him understand their goals, how his role connected to theirs, and how they could optimally work together: 

1.  What are your most important goals and objectives?

2.  What do you need most to acieve those goals and objectives?

3.  What do you need in particular from my department to help you achieve those goals and objectives?

4. How do you see my role connecting to yours, and how do you envision us working together?

5. How do you prefer to communicate (e-mail, voice mail, lunches, quick hallway conversations, meetings…)?

6. What are some of the biggest barriers / frustrations / challenges you face in your work?

7. Who do you trust to go to for support and advice when you need it?

8. If I do well at my job, how will that impact you?

His goal was to answer these eight questions for each person on the relationship map.

RESULTS

The relationship map project gave John something tangible to work on, and got him initiating conversations he might otherwise have avoided.  He was initially worried that the project might take away from his work, but he soon saw that the information he got from his conversations enabled him to get more done faster. 

 He found people much more receptive when he showed genuine interest in what they were trying to accomplish.  In one case he discovered that another department was working on a project that could be combined with something his team was doing, and his work with the other department head to make it happen gained him visible win # 1.  He also found that as he probed for what was currently frustrating people, he was able to come up with new ideas that people wanted to try, and this lead to more wins. 

 But most of all, he started feeling like himself again.  His network within the company solidified, and he felt confident asking “stupid” questions anytime he wasn’t sure of something.  Because the relationship map included everyone in his department, he was able to develop a deeper understanding of the strengths, weaknesses, and goals of team members and work more effectively with all of them.

KEY LEARNING

Acclimating to a new organization is usually more stressful than looking for a new job in the first place.  By working with a coach, John learned that this was a normal part of starting a new position, and he stopped questioning his competence.  This also enabled him to take a proactive approach that gave him a sense of control in a situation with a lot of unknowns.  A relationship map is a useful tool for anyone in an organization because it helps you get outside of your own head and see things from the perspectives of those who work with you.  In John’s case it helped him mitigate the natural suspicion that most people have for a newcomer in a corporate environment, accelerate his assimilation process, and build the foundation for a strong network within the organization.

Pass it on…

John’s story is quite common, so if you find yourself in a similar situation don’t despair, and see if the relationship mapping idea will work for you.   You don’t have to use the same questions or even have eight of them.  You don’t even have to schedule meetings to answer the questions; you can challenge yourself to find the answers to the questions in whatever manner most suits the environment.  The point is to create questions that will help you learn more about what things look like from the other person’s perspective. 

 If you have a friend who has just landed, is immersed in the first six months of a new job, or who is responsible for bringing in and coaching new managers – please feel free to pass this story on in case they can use it.

Living Life on MY Terms

Testimonial from Kathy Shute:

Here’s the predicament I was in….

I’d been a loyal private coaching client of Nahid’s for several years, and felt I was on track with my life. Unfortunately, then crisis hit. Over the span of a year I underwent a major, emergency surgery that took me out of work. After my recovery, I obtained a new position but after working there for only six months I was laid off. To make matters worse, my husband was laid off a little before I was!

Nahid showed up in my life again with a powerful, new tool.

I was teetering on the brink of depression. These layoffs could have been a blessing with different timing.
But I didn’t have the resources or clarity to move toward any career dreams yet, nor the investment reserves to hire Nahid to help me navigate this crisis.

As fate would have it, Nahid called me to share news that she was starting The Aspyrre Community.
As I listened, I knew it was the perfect solution – exactly what I needed. Cost-effective, authentic group workshops that provided ongoing coaching while I looked for a job.

Here’s the powerful epiphany I had during one of The Aspyrre Community workshops…

During one of my first workshops, I gained clarity about my career and life goals.
What I truly wanted was to be an Artist, a Writer, and to travel the world!

Wow, what a scary thought….if only I had a million dollars or a benefactor.
Here’s where my second paradigm shift came about. Nahid informed me that all I needed was a way to create passive income, affording me more time to paint and travel.

Okay, but how…I wondered? She then told me about a book called, The 4 Hour Workweek, by best-selling author Tim Ferris. It provides a wealth of great ideas about designing your lifestyle and then living it by leveraging your time and creating passive income…just what Nahid was telling me to do!

The turning point….

Meanwhile, I had to be practical and find work. Yet, the industry I worked in was hard hit by the national recession, and offered little in the way of job prospects.  So I read The 4 Hour Workweek and then I became inspired. Partly as a result of these discussions, my husband decided to start an online business that made use of his corporate online marketing and web design skills.

After some time, with no job, but with ongoing support from the Community, I joined up with my husband, and can you believe it? I began using my writing skills in the new business! We also put my artwork online, too, and found an automated high-quality vendor to reproduce and ship it to customers around the world.

My life and career transformation:

Just a year after joining The Aspyrre Communty, I’m working full time writing, painting and traveling the world, while building equity toward my future. I can’t say enough good about Nahid and the direct, ongoing value she brings to members like me in The Aspyrre Community!

I can have Time AND Money

Testimonial from Kathy Shute

Here’s the predicament I was in….

I was working 60-70 hours per week in a management position, where I felt constantly drained. I knew I needed to change my priorities and my career, but didn’t know where to begin! I was too tired to try and figure it out myself, as I had no clarity around what I wanted to do next.

 The only thing I did know, was that I wanted to do something vaguely the opposite of what I was doing now!

Working with Nahid I had a “light bulb” moment…I was my own prisoner!

 I began working with Nahid as a way to help create this much-needed, major shift in my career and my life. One day, during a “Belief Session”, which is a powerful tool Nahid uses, I had an epiphany. I realized that I held a deep belief. It was this. That in order to have abundance, I needed to keep working tons of hours in a career that had outlived it’s purpose for me.

 I didn’t believe in my ability to have an abundance of time AND money. Much less, I also believed I couldn’t have both while doing something that would use my talents and passions!

I was a prisoner to a common, yet highly unempowering belief!

 The turning point….

 During this same session, Nahid helped me to see that I had simply adopted beliefs about time and money that I’d learned as a child. This understanding helped me to remain compassionate about myself while preparing to change my belief.

 Nahid then shared a simple tactic to help me immediately open my mind… that perhaps the opposite belief was true. I used this tactic to PROVE to myself that I could have abundance of time and money, all while doing what I love. (I wouldn’t have adopted the belief without proof.)

 I was still afraid, but thrilled to test out my new theory. What did I have to lose? Nahid’s simple tactic helped me to bravely take the next step.

My life and career transformation:

 Within six months of following Nahid’s guidance, I was able to truly adopt this new belief of time and abundance. This inner change gave me the courage I needed to leave my career and begin a new one. It hasn’t always been easy, but neither was living through the agony of being my own prisoner.

 Over the next few years I was able to identify and realize a hidden dream. Today I own a business with my husband, and I enjoy writing, painting and traveling the world, while building equity toward my future, too.

 I can’t say enough good about Nahid and the direct, ongoing value she brings to her coaching clients. I’m also a member and fan of her recently-founded Aspyrre Community. As I travel the world, I appreciate such a cost-effective community, access to its’ strong network, and the online tools that it provides for me.

Change that Lasts

Will you Really Change this Year?

If you could change anything, what would be different by the end of this year?  It’s a question I often ask clients, but in January, it crosses almost everyone’s mind.   The thing is, change doesn’t happen just by thinking about it, and that’s why most New Years Resolutions fail.  Our brains and bodies like habits because they make life more efficient, but if your current habits are keeping you stuck, it will take more than a burst of commitment to change them.   Here are five tips to help you make real and lasting change:

1. You need to know why it’s important to change, and your reason has to matter to YOU, at a deep emotional level. 

Too many people resolve to quit smoking or go on a diet because they know they should for their health.  The problem is they still feel ok, and the good feelings they get from smoking or eating are so much more positive, clear and strong than the concept in their mind of what it will feel like to be healthier.  Those who succeed are either scared by a close call (powerfully emotional), or they are able to attach themselves to a clear, emotional, and positive vision of themselves in a healthier body.  That clear vision and positive emotion is the thing that keeps them going as they develop new habits.

2. Get clear on what actions you are willing to take, for how long, and how you will decide whether it’s worth it to keep acting if you aren’t getting results.

The sad thing about most goals is that it takes longer to get results than what you would expect. When you don’t get results, it’s easy to get into a slump of not working as hard, which slows you down even more.    One thing that helps is rewarding  yourself for effort as opposed to results.  When you know you are putting in your best effort, it’s hard to get down on yourself, and easier to keep going until you’ve gathered enough momentum to start seeing results.

3. Detach yourself emotionally from failure, get used to it, and learn from it.

While it’s powerful to be emotionally attached to the vision that drives you forward, it’s painful to be emotionally attached to the little failures along the way.  You have to get over being embarrassed about looking like a dork, or comparing yourself to others who seem to be doing it better or faster.   The successful people in this world have failed many more times than the failures.  Who do you want to be?

4. Develop habits that support your success.

Habits and routines can form a strong foundation for success, helping you maintain consistent behaviors that build on themselves over time.  Your brain likes habits, and if you do the same thing enough times in a row it will become automatic.  Habits can work for you or against you, and the more habits you can develop to work for you, the easier it will be for you to create lasting and permanent change.   This works with meals, exercise routines, sales calls, building your network, managing people, running meetings, and just about anything else. 

5. Adopt a mindset that matches your change.

Your mind is powerful.  It dictates what you notice in the world, what you decide it means, how you respond, and ultimately what shows up for you.  It’s almost lucky that it takes awhile to make most changes on the outside, because if your mind doesn’t catch up, you can easily spiral right back to where you started.  The way to prevent this is NOTICE that running commentary in your head and THINK about how that running commentary might be different if you succeed.  Instead of “I need a smoke” every time things get stressful, it might be “I need a walk” or “a break” or “ten minutes to think with my door closed and a cup of tea”.   Start playing with new ways to think that match the way you want to be thinking about the world once you have succeeded.

6. BONUS – Get a support system!

Studies show that people are three times as likely to make a change when they have a support system in place – usually a group of people who are in it together.  You can put together a mastermind group, or join a support group, or even get a buddy to work with you, and the natural synergy and support will propel you forward.  I have to make a sales pitch here – JOIN the Aspyrre Community and as long as you show up on the phone calls it’s almost inevitable that you will change.  We are continuously learning and working with tools that help you move yourself to the next level, and hearing other people with similar challenges talk about their experiences is invaluable.

It all comes down to this.  Do you really want things to change this year?  If you do, you will need to do something different.  Something that moves you out of your current habitual way of living.  It can be as small as joining the community and showing up on calls or as big as moving to a brand new place physically and developing a whole new living routine.  But do SOMETHING different – and lay the foundation for real and lasting change.

My job drains me, but I’m afraid to leave

Dear Nahid,

My job drains me, but I’m afraid to quit.  I don’t know whether I would find anything better.  I don’t even know what I’d enjoy doing.  I can’t afford to quit.  I can’t afford to go back to school and start all over again doing something new.  Yet, I get sick to my stomach on Sunday nights thinking about work on Monday.  I can’t do this for twenty more years.  What should I do?   – Trapped

Dear Trapped,

You are not alone.  Studies have shown that more than half of all employees are not completely engaged and happy at work.  It’s sad that so many feel trapped and don’t see a way out, but it’s also true that it takes focus and energy to make a change, and some people would rather tolerate a draining environment than risk losing what they have for something worse.   While I can’t tell you what to do, I can provide some tips based on my work with career changers over the years:

1. Career Transition can take six months to three years or more.

If you are working in a draining environment, you may be tempted to quit so you have time and energy to move forward.  But unfortunately that extra time will be replaced with panic if you don’t have a source of income to keep you comfortably afloat for at least a year.  When I work with people who are panicking about running out of money, it is difficult for them to be confident during interviews, and they tend to take the first opportunity that provides income, whether it’s a good fit or not.   Which may put you in a worse position than you were in before. 

2. Your level of fear or confidence will determine how fast you succeed.

If you are embarrassed to make phone calls and ask questions of strangers, uncomfortable talking about yourself, and really scared of whether or not anyone will want you, then your transition will take longer.  If you are somewhat excited, up for the adventure, and willing to learn a lot, get out of your comfort zone and open your mind to new perspectives, then your transition can happen quicker.

3. No matter who you are, it is possible to design your life around work you enjoy.

Making a change in your life requires the willingness to carve out time each week to take action, and most of the action involves networking – talking to other professionals, sometimes even selling yourself.   It also requires taking an honest look at yourself and coming to terms with the personal issues that might hold you back professionally.   But if you are willing to put in the time and energy, you will get results.

4. You don’t have to go back to school or start at entry level in order to change industries.

This is a common misperception that holds people back from trying to make a transition to something they would really love to do.  It’s actually quite scary how many assumptions people make about what they can’t do just by hearing one “failure story.”   If you have a belief, no matter what it is, all you will see in the world is evidence that supports your belief.  You have to be open to the possibility of your success in order to succeed, and that means you have to be open to looking for examples of people who have succeeded at what you are trying to do, and learn from them. 

5. A support system will make all the difference in the world.

When I first started thinking about leaving my corporate job to start my own company I was petrified.  But I found a group of friends who also had dreams they were scared of acting on, and we agreed to get together once a month at someone’s house to talk about our dreams and support each other.  We didn’t do anything fancy – we just talked about what we wanted to do, and we shared our progress with each other along with ideas and resources.  The positive energy in that group gave me what I needed to make the leap.  If I didn’t have the other group members to talk to, I might never be where I am today.   (if you need a group and don’t want to put one together yourself, the Aspyrre Community is exactly the kind of group that supports you in change – and you can find more information about it by clicking here.)

Bottom line, it’s DEFINITELY possible to build your life around work you love.  It does take time, work, and personal growth.  I remember before making my change I felt like I just needed someone to guide me.  What we have here at Aspyrre is a step by step process, lots of guidance, and lots of support, so you can get all of that you need.  The part that comes from you is crossing that threshold of wanting the change more than you fear taking action.  Luckily, you don’t have to do anything drastic.  You can take a few small actions first, and see how they feel.

Best of luck to you, and feel free to write again anytime – I’d love to hear about your progress!

Sincerely,

Nahid Casazza

What makes life worthwhile?

What makes my life worthwhile?

Nahid,  I have been working, working, working, to achieve everything that is important to me, and now that I’m almost 50, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m missing the point of my life.   It seems like there’s always something more to achieve, but I can’t keep waiting until everything is done to start enjoying life.  If life isn’t about achievement, what is it about?   You talk about “accelerating your success” on your website; how do YOU define success?  – Lee

Lee, that is an excellent question.  Success is related to accomplishments, and that’s why people who want to be successful often find themselves in a frenzy trying to chalk up as many accomplishments as they can.  But, like you, most people reach a point when they realize that the accomplishments themselves don’t provide fulfillment.  And then they ask the critical question, “What makes my life worthwhile”?   The answer is different for everyone, but you can get to it by shifting your focus from WHAT you accomplish to WHO you are. 

Instead of seeing your accomplishments as your success, try seeing them as a reflection of your success.   In other words, success is based on WHO you are, and WHAT you do is simply one aspect of how you show up in the world.

WHO you are is more directly shown by HOW you approach everything you do in life.  For example, if you are a hard worker who consistently puts effort into everything you do, then you will likely see this reflected in your grades at school, in your performance at work, and in any activities or hobbies you pursue.  There may be times when someone who doesn’t work hard out-performs you, but that doesn’t take away from who you are and how you approach life. 

One powerful question you can ask yourself is “what kind of person do I want to be, no matter what situation I’m in?”   If you commit to being this kind of person, you may find that your attachment to your accomplishments goes away.  You’ve anchored yourself to something deeper and more meaningful.  Paradoxically, you will probably accomplish more, as a result of consistently behaving in a manner that is true to WHO you are.

Your question has inspired me to start working on a new exercise and workshop to guide people step by step through the process of defining personal success in this deeper, more meaningful way.  Keep your eyes open for events listed on the website, and make sure to get on the e-mail list if you haven’t already so I can send you a notification when it’s ready!

Thanks so much for taking the time to ask this important question, and inspiring me to address it! 

Sincerely,

Nahid

Five Steps to Finding Work You Love

We have the freedom in this country to choose our profession. Yet, the number of Americans who don’t enjoy their work is astounding. If you feel stuck, use these five steps to take charge of your career:

1. Know what you love

The work you love falls at the intersection of your unique talents and your favorite things. Make a list of what you are proud of, then circle everything on the list you truly enjoyed doing. Think about what subjects you read about just because you are interested. Then, make a list of work possibilities.

2. Interview people who do what you love

Get a feel for the real experiences of people who have already taken the paths you are considering. This critical step provides you with enough information to decide which possibilities on your list are worth deeper exploration.

3. Reframe your history

Write a list of skills and experience that would make a person great at the work you want to do. Then, for each item, list the skills and experience you have that correlate. You’ll find you are left with very few holes; most are actually advantages because you have a fresh perspective.

4. Collect relevant experiences

Find a way to immerse yourself in the world of your target work for 4 – 8 hours per week. This can take the form of volunteer or part-time work, joining professional organizations, attending conferences, and reading industry books and news. You’ll be surprised how quickly you get up to speed, and if it doesn’t feel like play time – go back to step one!

5. Network for opportunities

Build relationships with people in your target industry, and keep your eyes open for chances to solve problems and add value. Communicate your goals clearly, but don’t expect job offers right away. Enjoy the process and act on opportunities that line up with your objectives and income requirements. In this stage, consistency and follow up are the keys to success.

Three Ways to get Closer to Work you Love

Studies have shown that more than half of the working population doesn’t enjoy what they do for a living. So they spend 40 – 60 hours per week feeling stressed out, drained, or bored in exchange for a steady paycheck and health benefits. If you have one of these jobs, or you’ve recently left one, you may wonder sometimes what it would take to find a job you really enjoy, and what it would feel like to be fulfilled and energized by your work.

Unfortunately we have so many pre-conceived notions about what it would take to build an ideal career that most people give up before they start. The biggest one is that doing work you love requires a big change in your current lifestyle: lots of risk and lots of sacrifice.

But there are many cases where just making a few small changes, like moving to a new organization, or making a slight change in your job duties, can make all the difference in the world. In other cases, you may be able to leverage your strengths and completely change industries or start a viable business without missing a beat.

Here are three ways to start the process:

1. Write a list of all the things you most enjoy. After you have completed the list, brainstorm on jobs that might relate to each item. Go beyond the obvious. For example, if you enjoy art, look at things like event planning, advertising, or product design. Also, look at the art industry itself. How is art bought and sold? What roles require people to make decisions based on their understanding of art? What roles require people to draw and sketch in their daily activities? Really get out of the box and ask others for crazy ideas if you get stuck. Sometimes the barrier is that you can only see the one path that involves risk and sacrifice. If you can see several alternative paths, they may be at least worth investigating.

2. Go beyond the surface question of what job would make you happy. Ask yourself the deeper question: what is it about the things you love that make you happy? For example, most of my clients will say they love travel. But when we think about why, their answers reveal more important insights. Some clients love to travel because it’s the only time they feel free to relax and live in the moment. Others love to experience different cultures. If you love music, ask yourself what it is about how you live with music that is different from how you currently live at work. Do you express yourself differently? Do you manage time differently? Do you manage interruptions differently?

3. Have conversations with people in a wide variety of professions, and learn what their experiences are. You may find people in jobs that are similar to yours, but in a completely different environment. You may find people making a good income in ways you’ve only dreamed of, who are very willing to share their story. The more conversations you have, the more you will learn “what’s out there”, and the better perspective you will have on your own position. Sometimes we get so immersed in our current situation that we forget that there are other ways of living and working. Getting exposed to these diverse perspectives empowers you to see new possibilities for yourself.

It only takes a few hours in your spare time to think about these questions and talk to different people. You may confirm for yourself that there is no easy way to make a change. But what if you discover some new ideas or options? If it IS possible for you to spend those same 40 – 60 hours each week feeling fulfilled and engaged, would it be worth your time to find out about it?