Five Keys to Leaving the Impression You Want

(1) Dress the Part

Beyond dressing well, choose a style that speaks to the characteristics you want remembered. Do you want to portray money and power, down-to-earth warmth, creative genius, hard worker? If you don’t know where to start, watch other people, monitor the impressions you have of them, and look at what they are wearing. Look at pictures in magazines, talk to at least three friends to get an opinion. Go to an expert and spend extra money to get three to five outfits you feel confident wearing.

(2) Categorize Yourself

Whether you like it or not, people do not have the brain capacity or the motivation to remember all your wonderful characteristics, talents, and accomplishments. They will categorize you if they can, and if they can’t, they wont remember you at all.
Take control of what others remember about you by creating a simple and clear picture of who you are, what you have to offer, how they can help you. One method for doing this is to first give your name and a major category most people can relate to and then add something that makes you special or different. If you can’t think of anything that makes you stand out, ask ten people who know you well for some ideas.
For example, if someone tells me they are a “Financial Planner” at a networking function, I may or may not know what a financial planner is and I may or may not ask more questions. Usually I wont ask much because I don’t want to encourage a sales pitch. Even if I get and keep the business card, it will probably go into the stack of other cards and get lost. On the other hand, if I meet the following two people at a networking function, I will be much more likely to remember them, and at some point send them referrals.

a. Hello, I’m Ann Smith. I’m a financial planner who specializes in helping people get out of debt. I spend extra time teaching my clients key concepts and clearing up misconceptions so they can make wiser decisions on how to manage their money. I work with people who are overwhelmed with their financial situation and need someone to help them through it step by step.

b. Hello, I’m David Longfellow. I am a financial planner who specializes in maximizing the value of my client’s assets. I work well with busy executives who simply don’t have time to worry about money. I do all the work and provide them with short but frequent progress reports so they know they are in good hands.

Notice that both introductions can be said in less than 30 seconds. Each one gives you enough information to categorize that person in your mind. You know something unique about the service they offer and have an idea of the kind of person you might refer to them. Through a carefully crafted introduction, they have greatly increased the likelihood that you will remember and refer them a week or two later when you run into their “perfect” client.

(3) It’s Not About You

The impression you make has a lot less to do with you than your audience: what they want to accomplish, what they are worried about, what they fear, what they need. Most people you meet have their own agenda – and it’s not to hear everything about you. Even a job interviewer is after pretty specific information, regardless of how open-ended his questions are. It often has to do with the positive or negative characteristics of the last person who held the position. If that person had a hard time fitting in, they are probably looking for good team players. If he didn’t take initiative, they’ll want someone who seems assertive.

At a networking event, people will be much more likely to listen to you if they think you might become a helpful member of their network. It’s well worth your time to hold off on pitching your case and listen for a while. Put yourself in their shoes. Find out who they are, what they are trying to accomplish, and see if you can fit into their picture. Your “30 second introduction” doesn’t have to roll off your tongue at the beginning of the discussion. If you listen first, you can customize it to what you learn.

Meanwhile, just by showing interest you will make a far stronger impression than anything you can say about yourself. If you can find a way to help others achieve their goals you add the element of reciprocity, and they will want to help you as well. One word of warning – don’t pretend to be interested if you aren’t, and don’t offer help you don’t really want to give. People smell insincerity a mile away and, as a “technique” this will backfire.

(4) Bring a Token to Leave Behind

A business card, a resume, a small brochure or flyer. If you want to make a lasting impression, your “leave behind” can work wonders. Make it something they will want to keep and refer to. Categorize it for them so they know where to file it. Have it match the overall impression you are trying to make. Use nice paper if you want to be seen as professional. Keep it clean and simple, with basic but useful information. Anything too big, bulky, or detailed will be seen as clutter. Anything too “cheap-looking” will be an easy target for the trash bin. Think about what you keep in your workspace or in reference files. If you have a business, you may want to get creative and pass out personalized pens, pads of paper, or refrigerator magnets.

(5) Leave them wanting more.

And make it easy for them to get it. Don’t pressure yourself to inundate people with information about yourself or your business. Get your basic point across and then relax and get to know people on a more casual and genuine level. Let them get a glimpse of the real you, and don’t worry about being perfect. People feel much more comfortable when they can relax and enjoy themselves, even during very professional interactions such as a job interview. Interviewers officially assess candidate qualifications, but they also look for people who will be fun to work with. Your personality makes you real, and it allows people to connect with you and enjoy the experience of being with you.

A big part of this experience is allowing space and time to get to know each other. Get contact information from people you want to stay in touch with and follow up. Sometimes it takes several years for a relationship to turn into a business or career opportunity, and sometimes only a few weeks. It is rare that deals are made and closed in one meeting. So do your best to prepare, be yourself, make the best impression you know how to make, and then don’t depend on it. Follow up regularly and add to the impression over time.

How To Toot Your Horn With Class

Have you ever sacrificed your personal time for a project at work, only to get little to no appreciation for your efforts? Or witnessed an officemate get praise and recognition for a project you put just as much work into? How many times have you felt overlooked, and wondered if playing politics or brown-nosing would have more of an impact on your career than solid hard work?

The truth is that excellent work by itself sometimes does get overlooked, and part of managing a successful career involves getting visibility and selling yourself. If you don’t take responsibility for getting your achievements noticed, they most likely wont be, and you will feel overworked, underpaid, and unnoticed. But before you resign yourself to becoming a sleazy success or a respectable failure, imagine the possibility of getting the visibility you deserve and preserving your integrity along with it.

It’s important to understand these basic facts about getting visibility:

1. Visibility sometimes gets a bad rap: “Horn-Tooters” can be mislabeled by resentful co-workers.

2. Most bosses can see right through employees who are all talk and no substance, and are usually more irritated by them than you are.

3. Employees who don’t showcase their accomplishments are harder for bosses to manage.

4. You don’t have to boast, brag, step over co-workers, or otherwise sacrifice common human decency to showcase your accomplishments.

5. If you aren’t getting the visibility you deserve, there’s a chance you are playing victim.

6. If you are playing victim, you may be working very, very hard, but you are most likely not performing to your potential.

If getting visibility rubs you the wrong way, you’re not alone. In fact, for most people it evokes an image of someone who is out for himself, taking credit for the work of others, boasting, sucking up to the boss, and otherwise displaying completely undesirable personality traits. Given the choice of being under-appreciated or being mistaken for a “horn-tooter”, many of us would rather err on the under-appreciated side. Although we may not think it’s quite fair, we’d prefer to be thought of as decent corporate citizens than sacrifice our integrity to get more money, power, customers, opportunity, or whatever else it is we want. The funny thing is, we still suspect that some of those around us lack our moral commitment, and are somehow making out better because of their game playing. Corporate environments vary, but in times of uncertainty the overall lack of trust peaks, along with politics, rumors, and unwarranted accusations towards those who appear to be “getting” too much visibility.

Most employees feel that their efforts go unrecognized, and often worry about how they are perceived at work. However, this topic rarely gets discussed until a major disappointment hits, such as a low score on an evaluation, or missing out on a promotion or important responsibility. Then, in the midst of the shock and disappointment enters the thought, “I just don’t feel comfortable tooting my own horn”. That notion is incredibly soothing, because it places the blame on something other than personal performance. If the personal “flaw” that got you overlooked is your inability to play politics, then you are off the hook. Because that isn’t really a flaw – it makes you a good person, protects your ego, places the blame on the system, and gives you a moral “one up” on your peers who got a better score or more accolades.

When employees feel powerless and uncertain, resentment towards the few who succeed can spread like an airborne virus, especially in organizations that don’t stress pro-active communication. In these environments, employees become victims instead of stars, and those who buck the system and work hard at being a star often get stigmatized.

That being said, the overall negative connotation surrounding “tooting your own horn” is not entirely unfounded. There are many charismatic young professionals who “play the game” the way they think it should be played without regard for their co-workers. You see them coming a mile away – their insincerity repulses you, and you dread working with them.

Here’s some good news: so does your boss. And their boss. To prove this to yourself, think of everyone you know whom you consistently did not trust at work. Were you the only one who didn’t trust this person? In fact, can you remember many who did? And if you have ever managed a team that included a charmer who wasn’t pulling his weight, you probably spent many frustrating hours trying to figure out how to manage the situation.

No matter how unfair your situation seems, resenting fellow employees will not get you the recognition you deserve or the reputation you desire. In fact, if you express resentment on the job, even in subtle ways, such as through private gossip, sarcastic remarks, or innuendo, you will most likely be seen as a victim. Victims don’t take responsibility for their own happiness, and they simply aren’t fun to be around. So, while a person who vies for unwarranted recognition may at least be tolerated, harder working employees who are always unhappy and complaining about something, tend to be avoided.

Handle your anger. Feel it, express it, and problem-solve in a safe environment away from work. Then come to work in a professional frame of mind, ready to implement your solution.

The problem most people have with getting recognition is that they don’t know how to go about it without being manipulative. Recognition comes from others, and you can’t control what they think or say about you. So, in order to influence the powers that be, you feel like you have to “sell” your accomplishments by advertising them.

But true recognition is rarely sparked by a self-advertisement. In fact, the good news is that the best way to get real recognition has almost nothing to do with trying to get recognition. It has to do with working hard, producing excellent results, and taking it one step further by responsibility communicating the value of what you and others are doing to those who can benefit from it.

There are four keys to getting recognition with professionalism and class:

1. Recognize Your Needs

When people don’t feel appreciated at work, it is often because they sacrificed something important in order to meet expectations. However, the person requesting the effort usually isn’t aware of the sacrifice and therefore doesn’t acknowledge it. It’s important to let people know when complying with a request will conflict with other priorities – whether they are personal or job-related. Then negotiate for a solution that will work for all parties.

For example, your boss brings you a project on Friday at 3:00pm and asks if you can have it done by Monday. This kind of project typically takes three days, and you have important plans with your family this weekend. Before panicking, simply suggest an alternative. “I can get it done for you by Wednesday, will that work?” Sometimes we assume that our boss isn’t going to be flexible and don’t even think to ask.

Another way to handle a situation like this is to use the following three step model: state the parameters, indicate your desire to produce the requested results, suggest one or two potential solutions.

1. State the parameters: “You would like this done by Monday. This kind of project typically takes three days. I am willing to spend extra time outside of work hours in some circumstances, but I have reserved this weekend for my family, and it would be difficult for me to re-arrange our plans.”

2. Indicate your desire to produce the requested results: “I know this is important for the company and I want to help make it happen.”

3. Suggest one or two potential solutions: “Is it possible to extend your deadline until Tuesday? I would be willing to stay late on Monday night to get it done. Or, I could produce these two essential parts of the project by Monday, and follow up with the background details on Tuesday”

In most instances, your boss will want to work with you and negotiate. Even in the cases where he doesn’t, and you end up agreeing to re-arrange your weekend time, he will understand the degree to which you’ve extended yourself.

Notice in the example that the details of the plans were not disclosed. If your “plans” consisted of laying around the house watching movies, they can be just as important as a trip out of town. Respect and honor the time you set aside for yourself, and you’ll find that others respect it too.

2. Share your progress as a gift

It’s important to share your accomplishments. Others can apply what you’ve learned to their projects. Your boss will be better able to guide your efforts. People will know how you can help them. The key to avoiding the negative “horn-tooting” perception is how you present the information.

1. Know your purpose for sharing the information. If it’s just to get recognition, don’t bother sharing it. You’ll be recognized as someone trying to get recognition.

2. Know how your audience can use the information. If they can’t use it, don’t waste their time. People will stop paying attention to you.

3. Present your information in a format that makes it very easy for your audience to use. Prepare a progress report for your boss that ties your accomplishment to a specific performance objective. Send a short summary of what you learned from a project to those you think can apply the information. Include a graph they can paste into a presentation and a link to a more detailed report. Offer to do a presentation or training on what you’ve learned. Make sure the presentation is focused less on what you did and more on how they can apply it.

3. Recognize Others

You don’t have to be the boss to give recognition. Whenever you witness positive work or deeds, take the time to acknowledge it. Sometimes you will do this by sending an e-mail and copying a boss, but it doesn’t have to be that formal. Just letting people know that you’ve noticed their efforts can be powerful. Besides the natural good feeling you get when you’ve done something nice, consistently looking for and recognizing the achievements of others directly benefits you and your company in several ways:

a. It increases your awareness of the positive work going on around you.

b. People will be more likely to repeat the actions you recognize.

c. You will likely emulate the work habits you recognize, increasing your own effectiveness and success.

d. People will associate you with the values you recognize in others, and notice the actions you take to support those values.

e. People will genuinely recognize and appreciate you.

4. Accept recognition gracefully

Sometimes it is embarrassing to get recognition. Self-doubt sets in. You wonder if you deserve it. No matter how well you stick to your work ethics and values, there will always be someone who resents you and complains – and that gets back to you. Sometimes recognition can actually be painful. One example of this is when upper management uses you to send a negative message to others, comparing your performance to theirs. But even when it is genuine, it is often embarrassing to be in the spotlight, with all eyes on you – waiting for your reaction. If you appear too proud, you might seem to be “gloating”. But at the same time you don’t want to discredit yourself.

a. Smile and say “thank you” genuinely – you’ve been given a gift

b. If appropriate, add a comment which includes three components: your specific action, the specific result, and how you felt doing it. Here are two examples:

i. “Thank you, I’m so glad my extra work on the spreadsheet made it easier for you to move forward. I enjoyed doing it, and learned a few tricks that I would be happy to share with anyone working on a similar project”

ii. “Thank you. I know staying here until 2:00am sounds like outlandish commitment, but I have such a passion for this project that I was on a roll, and getting it done before month-end made it worth the effort”

This approach demystifies the recognition, by tangibly tying it to specific actions and results. It reinforces the true spirit behind your efforts, and it gracefully moves the focus away from you to the project or company.

So the next time you feel that wave of resentment coming on, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I taking on extra work I don’t want, and expecting others to notice and give me the break I deserve?

If so, take care of yourself. Whenever you place the burden of your peace of mind on others, even “authority figures” you lose.

2. Am I communicating the value of what I do to those who can benefit from it?

If not, begin to think about how others in your organization can use the results of your work, and share the information in a way that can help them.

3. Am I recognizing the positive contributions of others?

Most people are self-absorbed, and if they notice much about others, it’s the negatives. Look for people and characteristics you can admire and emulate. Take responsibility for being a positive force in your organization or community. Then feel it rub off on you.

4. When I do get recognized, am I awkward or embarrassed?

You might be making it difficult for people to recognize you because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Learn how to accept a compliment and acknowledgment with grace by saying “thank you”.

The bottom line is that you will get recognized when you help others by sharing information that will make their job easier. Your accomplishments can directly contribute to speeding up a project someone else is working on by providing them with valuable information or just giving them ideas of new ways to approach their work.

Five Secrets of Compelling Communicators

How well you communicate affects every aspect of life from personal relationships to business success.  Here are five simple but powerful keys to help you communicate more effectively, and get heard.

1. Listen Fully

This means no mental background chatter or preparing what you are going to say next.  Even good listeners find this difficult.  However, once you master the skill, it’s amazing how much better you understand people.  And, when you understand your audience, you’ll automatically adjust your message to make it more relevant and meaningful to them.

2. Speak Succinctly

Compress your thoughts into two or three sentences.  Pause.  Give people a chance to grasp and consider what you have said.  If you say too much or go on too long, they’ll get overloaded and forget all of it.

3. Tell the Truth

The real truth!  This is my agenda.  I want to accomplish A, and I need B.  Can you help me?  If not, that’s OK, but I wanted you to know why I asked.  People are so scared they’ll say something stupid that they lose the ability to connect on a genuine level.  When you speak honestly and show your human side, people naturally relate and want to hear more.

4. Allow Opinions

Especially their opinion of you!  If someone is allowed to disagree with you, they are more likely to listen to and acknowledge your side of the story.  If they are allowed to think whatever they want about you, they will be downright fascinated by what you have to say.  It all comes down to not trying too hard to prove yourself.  Confidence is truly compelling.

5. Repeat Ideas

In the age of information overload, people usually don’t “get” what you have to say the first, second, or even third times.  In presentations, standard practice is: tell them what you are going to say, say it, and then tell them what you said.  This goes for other forms of communication as well.  You don’t have to use the same words every time, but if you have a message to send, expect to send it consistently over a long period of time before it sinks in.

Four things you should know to grow your business

When my clients complain that they are not getting enough clients, a little probing usually reveals that they have under-estimated how much effort it takes on the front end to generate the results they desire.

Ask yourself these four basic questions to help you quantify the effort it will take to reach your goal.  Sometimes just knowing your numbers is enough to depersonalize the process and get you motivated to act!

1. How many deals do you need to close each month to make your numbers?

You should be able to see from your history what an average new client will spend, and what repeat customers typically buy.  Take into consideration that you will naturally lose business regularly through no fault of your own, and expect some surprises.

2. What are the key steps in your sales process–from when you first meet a prospect to when they become your client?

At each key stage in your sales process, prospects get eliminated or move to the next stage.  Know the steps, and encourage potential clients to move from one stage to the next, deliberately feeding the system that feeds you.  Many people are ready to buy but won’t move forward unless you call them.

3. Of the prospects who begin your sales process, how many complete it to become your client?

This ratio is critical because it gives you power, no matter how “bad” it is.  If you know you have to call 100 people before one will say yes, then you can only feel good after your first 50 “no’s”, because you only have 50 more to go.  But if you don’t know your numbers, you may end up completely deflated after 10 calls and consider yourself a failure.

4. What kind of marketing do you need to do to generate at least as many prospects as you need for item #3?

There’s no getting around making calls and having conversations to get the results you want.  However, if you know how many contacts you need to make, you can find a way to enjoy the process with confidence that the results will come.