How To Toot Your Horn With Class

Have you ever sacrificed your personal time for a project at work, only to get little to no appreciation for your efforts? Or witnessed an officemate get praise and recognition for a project you put just as much work into? How many times have you felt overlooked, and wondered if playing politics or brown-nosing would have more of an impact on your career than solid hard work?

The truth is that excellent work by itself sometimes does get overlooked, and part of managing a successful career involves getting visibility and selling yourself. If you don’t take responsibility for getting your achievements noticed, they most likely wont be, and you will feel overworked, underpaid, and unnoticed. But before you resign yourself to becoming a sleazy success or a respectable failure, imagine the possibility of getting the visibility you deserve and preserving your integrity along with it.

It’s important to understand these basic facts about getting visibility:

1. Visibility sometimes gets a bad rap: “Horn-Tooters” can be mislabeled by resentful co-workers.

2. Most bosses can see right through employees who are all talk and no substance, and are usually more irritated by them than you are.

3. Employees who don’t showcase their accomplishments are harder for bosses to manage.

4. You don’t have to boast, brag, step over co-workers, or otherwise sacrifice common human decency to showcase your accomplishments.

5. If you aren’t getting the visibility you deserve, there’s a chance you are playing victim.

6. If you are playing victim, you may be working very, very hard, but you are most likely not performing to your potential.

If getting visibility rubs you the wrong way, you’re not alone. In fact, for most people it evokes an image of someone who is out for himself, taking credit for the work of others, boasting, sucking up to the boss, and otherwise displaying completely undesirable personality traits. Given the choice of being under-appreciated or being mistaken for a “horn-tooter”, many of us would rather err on the under-appreciated side. Although we may not think it’s quite fair, we’d prefer to be thought of as decent corporate citizens than sacrifice our integrity to get more money, power, customers, opportunity, or whatever else it is we want. The funny thing is, we still suspect that some of those around us lack our moral commitment, and are somehow making out better because of their game playing. Corporate environments vary, but in times of uncertainty the overall lack of trust peaks, along with politics, rumors, and unwarranted accusations towards those who appear to be “getting” too much visibility.

Most employees feel that their efforts go unrecognized, and often worry about how they are perceived at work. However, this topic rarely gets discussed until a major disappointment hits, such as a low score on an evaluation, or missing out on a promotion or important responsibility. Then, in the midst of the shock and disappointment enters the thought, “I just don’t feel comfortable tooting my own horn”. That notion is incredibly soothing, because it places the blame on something other than personal performance. If the personal “flaw” that got you overlooked is your inability to play politics, then you are off the hook. Because that isn’t really a flaw – it makes you a good person, protects your ego, places the blame on the system, and gives you a moral “one up” on your peers who got a better score or more accolades.

When employees feel powerless and uncertain, resentment towards the few who succeed can spread like an airborne virus, especially in organizations that don’t stress pro-active communication. In these environments, employees become victims instead of stars, and those who buck the system and work hard at being a star often get stigmatized.

That being said, the overall negative connotation surrounding “tooting your own horn” is not entirely unfounded. There are many charismatic young professionals who “play the game” the way they think it should be played without regard for their co-workers. You see them coming a mile away – their insincerity repulses you, and you dread working with them.

Here’s some good news: so does your boss. And their boss. To prove this to yourself, think of everyone you know whom you consistently did not trust at work. Were you the only one who didn’t trust this person? In fact, can you remember many who did? And if you have ever managed a team that included a charmer who wasn’t pulling his weight, you probably spent many frustrating hours trying to figure out how to manage the situation.

No matter how unfair your situation seems, resenting fellow employees will not get you the recognition you deserve or the reputation you desire. In fact, if you express resentment on the job, even in subtle ways, such as through private gossip, sarcastic remarks, or innuendo, you will most likely be seen as a victim. Victims don’t take responsibility for their own happiness, and they simply aren’t fun to be around. So, while a person who vies for unwarranted recognition may at least be tolerated, harder working employees who are always unhappy and complaining about something, tend to be avoided.

Handle your anger. Feel it, express it, and problem-solve in a safe environment away from work. Then come to work in a professional frame of mind, ready to implement your solution.

The problem most people have with getting recognition is that they don’t know how to go about it without being manipulative. Recognition comes from others, and you can’t control what they think or say about you. So, in order to influence the powers that be, you feel like you have to “sell” your accomplishments by advertising them.

But true recognition is rarely sparked by a self-advertisement. In fact, the good news is that the best way to get real recognition has almost nothing to do with trying to get recognition. It has to do with working hard, producing excellent results, and taking it one step further by responsibility communicating the value of what you and others are doing to those who can benefit from it.

There are four keys to getting recognition with professionalism and class:

1. Recognize Your Needs

When people don’t feel appreciated at work, it is often because they sacrificed something important in order to meet expectations. However, the person requesting the effort usually isn’t aware of the sacrifice and therefore doesn’t acknowledge it. It’s important to let people know when complying with a request will conflict with other priorities – whether they are personal or job-related. Then negotiate for a solution that will work for all parties.

For example, your boss brings you a project on Friday at 3:00pm and asks if you can have it done by Monday. This kind of project typically takes three days, and you have important plans with your family this weekend. Before panicking, simply suggest an alternative. “I can get it done for you by Wednesday, will that work?” Sometimes we assume that our boss isn’t going to be flexible and don’t even think to ask.

Another way to handle a situation like this is to use the following three step model: state the parameters, indicate your desire to produce the requested results, suggest one or two potential solutions.

1. State the parameters: “You would like this done by Monday. This kind of project typically takes three days. I am willing to spend extra time outside of work hours in some circumstances, but I have reserved this weekend for my family, and it would be difficult for me to re-arrange our plans.”

2. Indicate your desire to produce the requested results: “I know this is important for the company and I want to help make it happen.”

3. Suggest one or two potential solutions: “Is it possible to extend your deadline until Tuesday? I would be willing to stay late on Monday night to get it done. Or, I could produce these two essential parts of the project by Monday, and follow up with the background details on Tuesday”

In most instances, your boss will want to work with you and negotiate. Even in the cases where he doesn’t, and you end up agreeing to re-arrange your weekend time, he will understand the degree to which you’ve extended yourself.

Notice in the example that the details of the plans were not disclosed. If your “plans” consisted of laying around the house watching movies, they can be just as important as a trip out of town. Respect and honor the time you set aside for yourself, and you’ll find that others respect it too.

2. Share your progress as a gift

It’s important to share your accomplishments. Others can apply what you’ve learned to their projects. Your boss will be better able to guide your efforts. People will know how you can help them. The key to avoiding the negative “horn-tooting” perception is how you present the information.

1. Know your purpose for sharing the information. If it’s just to get recognition, don’t bother sharing it. You’ll be recognized as someone trying to get recognition.

2. Know how your audience can use the information. If they can’t use it, don’t waste their time. People will stop paying attention to you.

3. Present your information in a format that makes it very easy for your audience to use. Prepare a progress report for your boss that ties your accomplishment to a specific performance objective. Send a short summary of what you learned from a project to those you think can apply the information. Include a graph they can paste into a presentation and a link to a more detailed report. Offer to do a presentation or training on what you’ve learned. Make sure the presentation is focused less on what you did and more on how they can apply it.

3. Recognize Others

You don’t have to be the boss to give recognition. Whenever you witness positive work or deeds, take the time to acknowledge it. Sometimes you will do this by sending an e-mail and copying a boss, but it doesn’t have to be that formal. Just letting people know that you’ve noticed their efforts can be powerful. Besides the natural good feeling you get when you’ve done something nice, consistently looking for and recognizing the achievements of others directly benefits you and your company in several ways:

a. It increases your awareness of the positive work going on around you.

b. People will be more likely to repeat the actions you recognize.

c. You will likely emulate the work habits you recognize, increasing your own effectiveness and success.

d. People will associate you with the values you recognize in others, and notice the actions you take to support those values.

e. People will genuinely recognize and appreciate you.

4. Accept recognition gracefully

Sometimes it is embarrassing to get recognition. Self-doubt sets in. You wonder if you deserve it. No matter how well you stick to your work ethics and values, there will always be someone who resents you and complains – and that gets back to you. Sometimes recognition can actually be painful. One example of this is when upper management uses you to send a negative message to others, comparing your performance to theirs. But even when it is genuine, it is often embarrassing to be in the spotlight, with all eyes on you – waiting for your reaction. If you appear too proud, you might seem to be “gloating”. But at the same time you don’t want to discredit yourself.

a. Smile and say “thank you” genuinely – you’ve been given a gift

b. If appropriate, add a comment which includes three components: your specific action, the specific result, and how you felt doing it. Here are two examples:

i. “Thank you, I’m so glad my extra work on the spreadsheet made it easier for you to move forward. I enjoyed doing it, and learned a few tricks that I would be happy to share with anyone working on a similar project”

ii. “Thank you. I know staying here until 2:00am sounds like outlandish commitment, but I have such a passion for this project that I was on a roll, and getting it done before month-end made it worth the effort”

This approach demystifies the recognition, by tangibly tying it to specific actions and results. It reinforces the true spirit behind your efforts, and it gracefully moves the focus away from you to the project or company.

So the next time you feel that wave of resentment coming on, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I taking on extra work I don’t want, and expecting others to notice and give me the break I deserve?

If so, take care of yourself. Whenever you place the burden of your peace of mind on others, even “authority figures” you lose.

2. Am I communicating the value of what I do to those who can benefit from it?

If not, begin to think about how others in your organization can use the results of your work, and share the information in a way that can help them.

3. Am I recognizing the positive contributions of others?

Most people are self-absorbed, and if they notice much about others, it’s the negatives. Look for people and characteristics you can admire and emulate. Take responsibility for being a positive force in your organization or community. Then feel it rub off on you.

4. When I do get recognized, am I awkward or embarrassed?

You might be making it difficult for people to recognize you because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Learn how to accept a compliment and acknowledgment with grace by saying “thank you”.

The bottom line is that you will get recognized when you help others by sharing information that will make their job easier. Your accomplishments can directly contribute to speeding up a project someone else is working on by providing them with valuable information or just giving them ideas of new ways to approach their work.

Managing Your Boss

Many of us hope and expect that our boss will turn out to be a great coach and mentor, someone who guides us with the wisdom of experience, supports us with training and constructive feedback, gives us challenging and meaningful assignments, promotes our successes to upper management, and always has our career path and best interests in mind. Some of us are lucky enough to find that kind of boss – maybe once, in our entire career.

But for the most part, we find bosses who are almost as lost in the organization as we are, trying to prove themselves, find meaning in their work, and plot their own career path as best they can. Some managers came by the title due to technical experience alone and have little talent or interest in the “people management” part of their duties. Others want to be managers, but are so wrapped up in the role that their attempts to guide and support the team seem self-serving.

Either way, as an employee, you are powerless until you have worked out a way to effectively manage your boss.

Wait a minute, you ask. Isn’t that presumptuous? Since when do I manage my boss? Isn’t it his job to manage me? Yes. Technically it is. But chances are 9 to 1 that your boss does not know all your hopes, dreams, talents, skills and interests. That he or she doesn’t have a clear idea of where you want to be in five or ten years or a major investment in getting you there. If your boss does, appreciate the relationship as the diamond it is, and you can stop reading this article right now.

But the rest of us have a clear choice to make. One is to sit back and let our boss manage the relationship with us. We may learn something, we may get lucky, but we wont have control over our destiny, and there is no guarantee that we will move forward in our career. And the second is to create a strategy to work effectively with our boss. This is possible, no matter who or how difficult your boss is. You can get started by taking the following steps.

1. See your boss as a person, not your parent or teacher.

Your current relationship with your boss probably has a lot to do with how well you’ve worked with authority figures in your past. If something your boss does angers you, ask yourself what you were expecting – and what kind of people in your life you would expect this from.

2. Let go of your boss’s faults

Every human needs to grow and improve in several areas. Your boss has a right to his faults, just as you do. Recognize this, and choose NOT to emulate the characteristics that aren’t effective in the workplace. In fact, as you develop a stronger relationship with your boss, you may be able to help him become more effective.

3. Know what you can learn from your boss.

No matter how incompetent or inexperienced your boss appears to you, she most likely has at least one thing on you. She probably has more experience or technical expertise in at least one area related to your job. She also may be more effective at handling difficult situations at work. Look for what she does well – this represents an excellent opportunity for you to improve your own skills.

4. Step into your boss’s shoes

Remember that your boss also has a boss. Lower level supervisors and managers often feel less power than their own employees because they feel pressure from above and below. Directors and Vice Presidents often find themselves caught in a very competitive political game, whether they want to be there or not. Even the owner of the company has competitors to fight with, customers to fight for, and lots of uncertainty to deal with. If you know what your boss is trying to figure out or accomplish, you will have a better understanding of his priorities and how you and your work fit in.

5. Learn your boss’s preferred communication style

How does your boss prefer to communicate? Does she respond better to ideas presented in written proposals, formal presentations, or casual suggestions in meetings or hallway conversations? Does she give direct feedback openly or prefer private “behind closed doors” meetings? Does she like voice mail or e-mail better? If you adapt to her way of communicating, you have a better chance of getting attention when you need it.

6. Know how your boss tracks results

Formal progress reports are great – but don’t be fooled by them. Some bosses don’t read them until review time, and depend on casual conversations to know what’s going on. Regardless of how your boss takes in information, it’s essential for him to quickly retrieve information he needs about you. This is key to your success, both at review time, and when he happens to be having a conversation with his own boss about a project you are involved with. Make sure you are tracking your own progress and taking responsibility to keep him informed in his way, so he’ll have your list of successes at his fingertips when he needs it. This is different from “tooting your horn”. If you brag or boast arrogantly, you will annoy your boss as well as your co-workers. Responsible progress reporting is succinct, easy to remember, and tangibly tied to the objectives of the team or project.

7. Know your own needs

What do you need from your boss? What kind of direction or feedback do you need on your work? How often do you prefer to communicate? Know what your boss can do to best support your success. Communicate this to your boss in professional and tangible terms. And make it easy for her to comply. For example, “I work best when given a written checklist of objectives for a project, because I then use my checklist to keep me focused”. If your boss prefers to describe the project to you verbally, ask permission to take notes, and show her your “list of objectives” to get agreement and start you on the right foot.

8. Find a good coach or mentor

We all need support and guidance in our career. What we forget sometimes is that our boss is not our only resource. Take responsibility for creating at least three support systems in your life, and in a time of transition, increase that number to five. Besides family and a small circle of positive, supportive friends, find some people with the expertise you need to be successful. Find one or more mentors through a formal mentorship program or by networking. Create your own personal “advisory board” or success group with others in your field. Hire a coach. Enroll in trainings and workshops. Join professional associations. Keep in mind that each professional connection you have outside of your current work system will enlarge your perspective, and your network. And THAT makes your relationship with your boss a less significant factor in your career success. You would be amazed at how much easier it is to get along with your boss when so much less is at stake.

Take these steps and separate yourself from the personality and competence level of your boss. Then you can look at the bigger picture and create a strategy to get where you want to be in your career – on track and on purpose.